My Astro Twins: Part One

Isaac Newton

Isaac Newton

I have three astrological twins. I actually have more than three, but I have no idea who most of the people are when I use the advanced search feature on Nevertheless, I’ve decided to take a moment to discuss the similarities between these celebrities and myself. What could be more fascinating than joining me on this journey of self-discovery, right?

The first person with whom I share my Capricorn sun sign, Cancer moon sign and Libra rising sign is Sir Isaac Newton. We also share a few other planetary placements: Mercury in Sagittarius, Venus in Aquarius and Saturn in Pisces. The biggest difference in our charts is that Newton’s midheaven is in Leo while mine is in Cancer. Leo is the wig sign. Of course that’s probably why Newton wore wigs. I do like wigs, but I don’t wear them.

What else? I suppose that we both like apples. I’m dying for the apples to ripen and start falling off the trees as they do this time of year. Newton was supposedly wandering through a garden where he watched an apple fall off a tree, piquing his curiosity about the notion of gravity. I also spend a lot of time in my garden contemplating the mysteries of life, like who will be eliminated on this week’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model.”

Newton was also never married. Everyone who knows me knows that there’s nothing I hate more than a wedding!

I’m stating the obvious here, but we’re both brilliant, too. My book, “Cosmically Chic.” has been compared to Newton’s “Opticks.” Of course, I was the one who compared them, but that’s beside the point.

I’m sure there are many more similarities, yet the one that strikes me as the most profound is that Newton was kind of a weirdo. He was smart enough to be one of the most respected individuals in the history of science, but he didn’t feel it was necessary to justify everything he believed with science. Some people view that characteristic as arrogance while others view it as a symptom of mental illness. I don’t think it’s either. If the laws of your universe are different than the laws of my universe, who am I to tell you that you’re wrong? I believe that Newton must have had a similar approach to his detractors because he just kept plugging along despite their criticism. Sometimes I’l start talking about astrology and people will look at me like I’m crazy. In the meantime, they’re the ones wearing clothes from Walmart. I know, right?

Anyway, come back soon for Part Two of this riveting exploration of my character. You’re not going to believe who’s next!


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