Happy birthday, Danielle Staub. Despite what the headlines say, you’re still not the grossest housewife New Jersey has ever seen. Congratulations!
Monthly Archives: July 2014
Happy Birthday, Nomi Malone
Happy birthday, Nomi Malone. I know that you’re not a real person and that you don’t necessarily share your birthday with the actress who portrayed you, but when else can I honor you for all of your contributions to civilization?
Mars!
I haven’t been myself for a while. I’m usually quite eager to share my brilliant thoughts and opinions with the world, but for the last few months I just haven’t felt like giving anything away. Hence, my lack of interest in blogging. Hence, my lack of interest in almost everything.
I guess I can attribute my selfishness to Mars. It’s been stuck in Libra — and my first house — for what seems like an eternity. Yesterday it finally moved into Scorpio and I hope that this will bring an end to this lackadaisical attitude I’ve developed. Mars isn’t comfortable in Libra, and although it should feel at home in my first house, it’s been rough. I’ve had the confidence and the energy to make some big changes in my life, but my ambition has been at an all-time low. I can attribute some of that to Jupiter transiting my ninth house. I know that most astrologers look at the ninth house as a place for expanding horizons, but for me it’s a place where planets go to mess me up. It brings out the worst in me; it makes me apathetic.
Now that Jupiter has not only moved into my tenth house, but also into Leo, I’m feeling ready for some big changes in my life. With Mars kicking things into gear, maybe I’ll actually feel like doing something rather than just pacing back and forth. Maybe I’ll actually feel like writing something when I sit down at the computer instead of refreshing my Facebook news feed over and over again.
You know the saying “Something’s gotta give”? I have the feeling that something just gave, and I have the feeling that I’m going to like it.
Happy Birthday, Mick Jagger
Happy birthday, Mick Jagger. You have no idea how obsessed I am with this image. I’ve had this album cover proudly displayed on a shelf in my bedroom for more years than I can remember.
Happy Birthday, Tristan MacManus
Happy birthday, Tristan MacManus. I can’t wait for another season of “Dancing with the Stars” to see which old lady you’re paired with next . . .
Happy Birthday, Jaime Murray
Happy birthday, Jaime Murray. I just made it to the end of season seven of “Dexter” last night. Please tell me that you just suffered a flesh wound in season two and you’ll be back for the finale.
Happy Birthday, Leah Miller
Happy Birthday, Richard Branson
Happy birthday, Richard Branson. I’m looking for a wealthy benefactor to invest in my upcoming slot machine junket to Las Vegas. It’s a sure thing! How does that old adage go? The nineteenth time’s a charm . . .
Happy Birthday, Tony Dovolani
Happy birthday, Tony Dovolani. Why don’t you ever get paired with the ringer on “Dancing with the Stars“?
Happy Birthday, Michael Flatley
Happy birthday, Michael Flatley. I just read that you’re worth $650 million USD. That’s just another reason to regret my decision to give up clog dancing for blogging . . .