My Astro Twins: Part Three


United Kingdom

Okay, this is going to seem weird, but bear with me . . .

My third astro-twin is the United Kingdom. Founded on January 1, 1801 at 12:01 AM, the United Kingdom has a natal chart very close to my own. We not only share our Capricorn sun, Cancer moon and Libra ascendant, but also Mercury in Sagittarius, Venus in Aquarius, Neptune in Scorpio and a Cancer midheaven.

So what does that mean? Well, first let’s compare the similarities. Neither of us would be surprised if anyone used the word “daft” to describe us: we’re known for our eccentricities. English is our language (I even have a university degree in English). We both get along well with the USA, but we’re both glad that we’re not American. Cool weather is my thing. I’m not always the boss but I usually act like I am. People often mistake my pragmatism for political conservatism although I’m very liberal from a social perspective. There’s a saying that goes “no man is an island,” but I always feel as if I’m one. I also show no signs of slowing down, even though it feels as if I’ve been around forever. I’m in great shape for my age!

And now for the differences. The United Kingdom is a sovereign state in Europe. I’m a guy who lives in Canada. The UK has the everyday monotony of “Coronation Street,” while I prefer the glitzy trash of “The Young and the Restless” and “Days of Our Lives.” The UK is a constitutional monarchy. I’m a one-man dictatorship — no one is going to tell me what to do! The biggest difference, however, lies in our sun/moon placements. The UK has its natal sun in the fourth house and its moon in the tenth. I have my natal sun in the third house and my moon in the ninth. I mentioned these positions in my previous entry when I discussed the Duchess of Cambridge. I’m more of an optimist as a result, and less of a traditionalist.

So that’s it! It’s interesting that the two actual people who share much of my chart are both Brits. Maybe I should move there. It’s just so far away from Las Vegas . . .





I have a lot of Virgo friends. I just found this image online and I’m wondering if it’s one of them.

Anyway, the sun entered Virgo this morning. It’s usually a good time of year for me because I’m quite Virgo-like in my fondness for routine. I get along very well with Virgos, too, except when they drink too much and get all desperate and needy.

In a couple of days the sun is going to meet Jupiter in Virgo. Venus and Mars will follow soon, giving this autumn Virgo vibes in general. For the next couple of months, we need to clean up after ourselves, both literally and figuratively. Chaotic behavior will be rewarded with more chaos. Hard work and diligence will be rewarded with tangible benefits. With Saturn finishing it’s retrograde stint in Scorpio mid-September, everything is going to take on a Karmic cast. Virgo is the goddess of the harvest and she teaches us that we reap what we sow. If you’ve made a mess, you’ve only got yourself to blame.

I’m optimistic about these transits, of course. I’m a Capricorn and all this action in my solar ninth house means that it’s going to be easy for me to be the stickler for details that I am. It’s much different than actual transits of my natal ninth house that make me feel as if things are going to go my way without any effort on my part. That’s called self-delusion. And even those many of these planets are about to enter my natal twelfth house soon — the house of delusion — I’m lucky to have just as many planets working to keep me grounded. Pluto is going to be sitting atop my natal sun for a couple of months. That ought to keep me from rushing into anything without thinking it through.

As for the rest of you, it’s a good time to turn the mirror onto yourselves instead of trying to explain what’s wrong with everyone else. Avoid being overly critical, but also avoid fighting with your critics. If people see things differently than you it’s because they have eyes, too.

My Astro Twins: Part Two

Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton

Next up on my rundown of fabulous celebrities who share the most important elements of my natal chart is Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

Kate and I share four planetary placements: a Capricorn sun, a Cancer moon, a Libra rising sign and Venus in Aquarius. For an outsider looking in, it would be natural to compare the two of us. It’s as if we were destined to rule over our inferiors! But actually our charts are quite different. Kate’s sun opposes her moon from the fourth house to the tenth house: a sort of mutual reception by house placement. Mine aren’t in opposition and they occupy the third and ninth house respectively. With Venus and Jupiter in mutual reception by both sign and house placement in my natal chart, that axis becomes far more important to my character. It’s why I feel the incessant need to communicate with the world-at-large.

Kate, on the other hand, has taken on a very traditional role as the one of the figureheads of a nation. With Mars, Saturn and Pluto all in her first house, she’s also going to be able to transform the monarchy into something more palatable for future generations. My first house is vacant, like the look in my eyes when I read the work of most other astrologers.

So I guess what I’m saying is that the two of us are more like fraternal twins. I hoped that we would be identical because things really seem to be going her way lately. Still, there’s nothing in my chart that makes me believe that I could handle the scrutiny she has to deal with every day. She’s a tough broad. I believe we’ve only begun to see that.

My Astro Twins: Part One

Isaac Newton

Isaac Newton

I have three astrological twins. I actually have more than three, but I have no idea who most of the people are when I use the advanced search feature on Nevertheless, I’ve decided to take a moment to discuss the similarities between these celebrities and myself. What could be more fascinating than joining me on this journey of self-discovery, right?

The first person with whom I share my Capricorn sun sign, Cancer moon sign and Libra rising sign is Sir Isaac Newton. We also share a few other planetary placements: Mercury in Sagittarius, Venus in Aquarius and Saturn in Pisces. The biggest difference in our charts is that Newton’s midheaven is in Leo while mine is in Cancer. Leo is the wig sign. Of course that’s probably why Newton wore wigs. I do like wigs, but I don’t wear them.

What else? I suppose that we both like apples. I’m dying for the apples to ripen and start falling off the trees as they do this time of year. Newton was supposedly wandering through a garden where he watched an apple fall off a tree, piquing his curiosity about the notion of gravity. I also spend a lot of time in my garden contemplating the mysteries of life, like who will be eliminated on this week’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model.”

Newton was also never married. Everyone who knows me knows that there’s nothing I hate more than a wedding!

I’m stating the obvious here, but we’re both brilliant, too. My book, “Cosmically Chic.” has been compared to Newton’s “Opticks.” Of course, I was the one who compared them, but that’s beside the point.

I’m sure there are many more similarities, yet the one that strikes me as the most profound is that Newton was kind of a weirdo. He was smart enough to be one of the most respected individuals in the history of science, but he didn’t feel it was necessary to justify everything he believed with science. Some people view that characteristic as arrogance while others view it as a symptom of mental illness. I don’t think it’s either. If the laws of your universe are different than the laws of my universe, who am I to tell you that you’re wrong? I believe that Newton must have had a similar approach to his detractors because he just kept plugging along despite their criticism. Sometimes I’l start talking about astrology and people will look at me like I’m crazy. In the meantime, they’re the ones wearing clothes from Walmart. I know, right?

Anyway, come back soon for Part Two of this riveting exploration of my character. You’re not going to believe who’s next!

Jupiter in Virgo!



Jupiter enters Virgo tomorrow, and I couldn’t be more relieved. Jupiter rules my solar ninth house of opportunity, but technically the planet is about to transit twenty-five degrees of my eleventh house. What does that mean? For about a year, I should see improvements to my social life and my media profile. Twelve years ago when this happened I actually had too much work to do. I know, right?

What does this mean for everyone else? Well, all my Virgo friends should start getting fat. The good-hair-year that my Leo friends were having has finally come to an end. My Pisces friends might finally get married in Las Vegas when we go in January. My Taurus friends can win the lottery and split it with me. My Aries friends can . . . wait a minute! I don’t have any Aries friends! Who does, really?

Anyway, I’m optimistic about this transit because Jupiter is the planet of optimism and planets that transit my eleventh house make very positive aspects to my natal Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto. This is going to be my year!

Once in a blue moon . . .



The past few days I’ve read plenty of articles about today’s blue moon. The blue moon is a second full moon that happens to occur in a calendar month. It has NO astrological significance. In fact, it’s just another talking point for people who don’t bother to respect the elegant mathematics of astrology, like the idiots who suddenly “discover” a thirteenth zodiac sign.

So do me a favor and shut up. Mars is conjunct my midheaven right now and if I have to listen to any more of this crap, I’m gonna punch someone . . .

Mars Redux



Last year at this time I wrote a post about how happy I was to see Jupiter move out my ninth house and to see Mars end its seemingly endless retrograde cycle elsewhere in my chart. A year later, Mars has been annoying me by transiting my ninth house. I guess I understand why people keep journals about this sort of stuff. It really does provide you with some insight.

Here’s what I wrote:

I know that most astrologers look at the ninth house as a place for expanding horizons, but for me it’s a place where planets go to mess me up.  It brings out the worst in me; it makes me apathetic.

The funny thing about this is that I was writing furiously for the past couple of months. Then Mars moved into my ninth house and all of a sudden I could barely open up the file on my computer to read what I had written. Astrologers traditionally associate the ninth house with expansion, higher education and broadening horizons, but it doesn’t seem to work that way for me. It makes my mind expand, all right; it travels so far away that I’m not sure when it will be back.

Over the past couple of days, however, Mars has been approaching my midheaven. It enters my tenth house on Wednesday. Suddenly, I feel productive again. I’ve been able to return to my writing project. I’ve wrapped my head around some goals I have for the future and I’ve even implemented a plan to make them work. I feel as is I’m not sitting around waiting for luck to find me. I hate when people say “you make your own luck,” because to me that phrase implies that really bad luck is earned. Tell that to someone who has cancer.

Anyway, I digress. It’s nice to look at my chart and to see that my ninth house isn’t going to be visited by any planets beside the moon for a very long time. I don’t do “apathy” very well.